Missing God…
Out of nowhere a thought creeps its way into my head: There are more stars in the universe than there are grains of sand on Earth… I couldn’t help but arrive at the conclusion that in this vast universe I am actually not even a mere speck of dust but so much smaller to the point of nothingness and I got to thinking how arrogant I have been to think that what I did or do in the future matters… That my actions however small they may be would affect the world… That I exist to fulfill some greater purpose… And that I should spend my life searching for or fulfilling this purpose when it doesn’t have to be that way… Thousands of people die everyday and yet we all go on with our lives… Worse, the Earth could explode into a million pieces anytime and yet the universe wouldn’t care… In the end, we don’t really matter coz we’re just matter: something that occupies space.
Then the inevitable question involving God and religion comes in… Sure there may be a God. An infinite power bigger and more powerful than the universe itself… But then again there may not be one either… Nevertheless absent proof otherwise, I believe in a God, in whatever form or name he might actually be… And then there’s us, man (or woman) aka homo sapiens. Now assuming the story of creation is actually true, and a greater power created all of these – then why is man so important in this world? I only have one sure answer, the author/writer/ brains behind the biggest bestselling book of all time is definitely a man (or a woman). So who’s to say who’s right and who’s wrong?
I know that my knowledge of God came from my mother teaching me that there is a God. That we should pray to the same God for everything that happens in our lives- the good, the bad, and more so the worst. For my part (and maybe for a lot of other people out there) I feel that my spirituality is a programmed one – one that I had no free hand in choosing for myself whether or not I actually believe with every fiber of my being that this is my truth. The kind truth I choose to believe in and live with in my lifetime. That is my lost God. Lucky is the man who finds his God.
Maybe religion and science are not meant to co-exist. And until the time man figures out a way to bridge the gap and fix the contradictions that defy logic and reason, there will always be people like myself – lost and confused in the sea of life. Hopefully, soon enough, we can figure out where we went wrong. After all contradictions do not exist. If you find yourself facing a contradiction, check your premises and you’ll find that at least one of them is wrong or missing. Then you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.
Until then, I can merely hold on to my bag of wisdom knowing that, at the end of the day, faith is all I got – for now anyway.
